10 Things a Parent of an SPD Child Wants to Say to YOU

  • He is NOT a bad boy.

Vincent does not have bad manners.  In fact, he is one of the most polite and thoughtful children you’ll ever meet.  He says “Please,” “Excuse me,” and “Thank you” without prompting, and is always sure to give you hugs and kisses if he thinks you’re sad.  When we pick up toys at the store, he often asks if we can get things for his cousins.  He is a truly loving, good little boy.  His meltdowns are not the result of being spoiled, coddled or moody. They are markers for the moment his strong little heart is overwhelmed by the 24/7 job of trying to push back against a tsunami of stimulation.

  • We are NOT bad parents.

How often John and I are looked at as if we are the root cause of Vincent’s more stressful moments!  How often we are asked if we’ve tried X, Y or Z to basically force Vincent to fall into line!

We did not cause his Sensory Processing Disorder.  Our parenting styles did nothing to bring on his sensitivity to certain situations.  We love our child fiercely and do everything in our power to see that he is cared for, protected and loved.  We may not be the most savvy parents in regards to the latest therapies available, but don’t you dare mistake our novice ignorance for bad parenting.  We are fighting to make ourselves and others aware of this disorder, and we are doing all we can to give Vincent the therapy he needs to cope.

So the next time you see us in the store while Vincent is having a meltdown because the lights hurt his eyes and the cart feels especially frustrating to his backside, refrain from suggesting I stop spoiling him.  I might not be so charitable in my response.

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